spectrum of life

Aurora borealis, one of the greatest magical natural events that I want to see with my own eyes. It is so alive and magical.... hypnotising me. It can happen because the earth and its sky consists of trillions particles, which are uncountable. Amazingly, when the opposites particles met and collide in certain period of the year, they create moving lights, as they are dancing. As the earth, inside of you and me consists of the same particles, which are alive and actively work in the same principle. As we wonder in some occasions in our life, these particles will show the magical dance. Just wait see and keep believing it will come.

offers and personal enjoyment

Some people like me are used to buy food stuffs, which are in offer. I just wonder this is a reasonable act and I think it is definitely good for our pocket. By having less price we can buy more variety of foods. But often we do not realise to what extent our life is shaped by the offers in shops and supermarket. Do you? 

You can follow what shops offer you, or buying what you want regardless the offer. No matter what option you choose, you are happy with what you buy and enjoy them.

not too much, not too less

Ahhh... wondering when I am eating a nice lovely fancy meal, which is so delicious and juicy and inviting me to deliver them more to my mouth. Well well... that is not what I am gonna do, because I know the important line of what makes me feel good or feel a exaggerative pleasure  that makes me feel bad after and long after that (sometimes for days).

I say, knowing not too much not too less maybe the key of happiness. The key of tasting the present and really feel what we feel and retaining the feeling for last a bit longer. Now is a middle of the night. It is early morning. It depends on what different time zone you are living in. But I feel what I do today is not too much not too less and I feel good.

Good morning.

set the target and let the way lead me there

It is tricky to play with numbers and target of the future, especially for our lives. Many say that it is important to state what we really want in this life by writing 'em down in the form of target and number. However, these target thingy might drag people and myself to confuse about the future days that even we do not know will happen or not. Then bit by bit we keep thinking and worrying about our future and loosing the control over the presence, the day that is precious and can be more beautiful with our presence mind.

Calculating age, earnings, achievements, number of kids, luxurious items for feeding satisfaction, our sake satisfactions, have become part of life. Rooted so deeply until this flows as a giant stream that hard to be avoided. The fact is simply showed, most of everybody does. Some refuse to flow with the stream and pick self out from the stream, forgetting about the future and enjoy what is coming. Nothing is wrong. In my genuine perspective, people can choose the path and attitude to live their life, but of course it will be more interesting if there is a distinctive reason behind their choices, the choices that they are convenient with.

Caring too much about the future or does not care at all. It does not matter. It is the main stream, upstream, or out of the stream. It does not matter. As long as one can really enjoy the process, the daily life, hours by hours, minutes by minutes. Today I reflect again, then I remind my self that I stand for what I believe, picture the future, set the target and I do not remember it, but I keep them in my heart, converge my actions, and I believe the way leads me there.

Omar: There is nothin like This...

There is nothing like today when I have my friends around, there is nothing like my far way friends who spent a crazy party yesterday with me, there is nothing like my lovely parents who support me behind my back but let me free and let me grow independently, there is nothing like my tons of job, which I really love to do, there is nothing like my sweet bed and warm blanket waitin for me,...

There is nothing like this.. there is no substitucion....

Say what...? Say enough my Aidy

2.23 am. TV with TMF channel still on...
2.24 am. IPOD still dangling in my ears and lazy fingers are still dancin' on the top of black keyboard, which might say "I feel under pressure all the time", why this happens to us , whyy??
2.25 am. washing machine is waiting for me to be cleared out... and my clothes are still stuck inside of it..
2.26 am. all clothes are hanged and waiting for getting dry
2.30 am. I think this is not gonna over soon... still many things to do.. take the IPOD off..
2.31 am. brushing my teeth and washing my face prepare to sleep
2.40 am. pull the blanket and turn off the tv and lights (save the energy babe!)
2.50 am. I say "Today is enough" and I am so grateful for having a beautiful day
geeee....

PS: promise myself before I am really entering dreamy world that this is too late for saying enough, it could be earlier AND IT SHOULD BE.

Rotterdam: from the Top of the World

being teen, mature, and old

Once my friend said today. Life is funny. Then I asked him, "why?"

He said three phases you may pass in this life. Being teen, mature, and old will teach you that we always will loose some part to have a full life (energy, money, and time). I am not talking this happens to everybody because for myself I do not accept it and I do not feel like being the majority who experience this funny things.

As teenager, one has the energy and the time to do things, but usually he or she has less money.
As the mature person, one has the energy and the money from the salary and earnings, but consequently he or she has less time.
As the old person, one has the money and the time to do things, but usually he or she has less energy because of tired muscles.

From my perspective this is the paradox of life and that's why it is not funny but it is beautiful.

the flavor of homeland food

Today I felt like want to cook something homie and I decided to cook soto (spices curry soup) and opor ayam (chicken curry). All curries and chicken stuff because these were all I have on the freezer almost a month and today is the time to get it over. Unfortunately there are still 1/2 kilo left. fufufuf...

I invited my room mate to eat the stuff because I could not handle this, too much. I felt like happy to cook these but eat em all is not a very good idea for sure, it is so greasy! It was proven that my stomach is accustomized with Dutch simple food and I just felt my stomach went wrong after I had lunch. oouch.

Apart from getting sick a little, I recalled again my real culture and the flavor of my homeland by making and eating this food on the table. It was nice and in the same time wierd because usually I ate this soto under the tent on the street somewhere in Jakarta or Bandung with humid whether and of course the temperature of the whether is more than 30 degree celcius. But today, I ate this with the snow rain outside and I suddenly missed my homeland for a while.

With simple stuff, I reconnected again to the place where I belong, the place where some people were expecting my presence today. I feel grateful.

Yaldâ

Shab-e Yaldâ or Shab-e Chelleh is an ancient Iranian Festival originally celebrated on the Nothern Hemisphere's longest night of the year, that is, on the eve of the Winter Solstice.
Today I have an honored to celebrate it with my Iranian room mate. We went to the market to buy some food, fruits, a cake. I just followed as I felt really lazy to go out to 50m away supermarket because of snow is everywhere. Wet and slippery.
After working for almost 10 hours for university stuff that I need to catch up before having long holiday in Spain, finally I decided to stop and start the celebration. We "cooked" our dinner, as in fact my friend just heated up the pile of rice and mince meat that he cooked for couple meals and I boiled spruitjes (sprouts), typical of a Dutch vegetable, and waved bapao (chinese steam bread) for my dinner.

Spruitjes (Sprouts), as small as meat balls.

It was nothing specially except the meaning of the celebration and some good musics. After eating out "fast food" and fruit. My friend, Farzad suggested to have a cup of tea for accompanying the cake. I was amazing after almost forgetting how good is the taste of the cake. Honestly, the food was too much for me today since I have not eaten that much these days. But I felt enjoying it so much.

After we finished the cake, all of sudden, the food topic was served on the table and Farzad referred me to the video about Persian food. Waooo... amazing to know how they made the food. I just remember how enjoyable to work with the slow food and how exotic the different kind of food in different part of the world. I wish I could make it part of my work. I really wish someday this will come true. But for today, this is enough.

In the end, I show also how does the Indonesian cuisine looks like. My friend said, it was a pity that the people in Holland do not know how to appreciate the food because they have breakfast food for three times a day. Haha... sometimes this might be true. People have less and less time to eat, to spend the most important time for chew and swallow substance that make they still alive.

It was funny and I really appreciate it as my treasure of the day.

wet and dirty road, dark winter, thick snow, and happy face

Wet and dirty road
dark winter

thick snow

and HAPPY FACE!? it is happy face in the very severe snow rain! :)

a cup of positivism and a spoon of discipline

A recipe of a hard tiring day with many responsibilities and most probably killing deadlines: a cup of positivism and a spoon of discipline.

I did not know why yesterday, the world was so heavy, even my own shoes felt like 2 kilos of sand. Maybe it compensated a nice long chatty night with friends. Yesterday, I woke up and felt like in hell, with a little headache, neck pain, and the worst... waiting deadline with none of them I could understand how to start...

I just passed yesterday with faith and took a stance to start disciplined my self as my wise friend said, "try to sleep always before 12 and set your body clock at 8." I am trying. It was not perfectly set today. But I am sure I will be. Somehow this body needs adjustment something positive to be able to function well, run and think faster.

He is totally right. I woke up today at 9 with better energy (yes, I set my sleeping time from 1 - 9am instead of 12 - 8am) and I add a cup of positivism instead of tea. I guess it is still fine and it is even better for me, remembering the sun in holland these days is also late.

I start my day with cold milk and honey (how sweet is that..) blanket to heat up my body and newspaper to heat up my brain. Oh.. geee.. climate change, euro was going down, chavez and ahmadinejad were hugging each other and pissed some other leaders, sport stuff, not really into it, stock and financial pages (fiuh, not for me now).. and finally.. my gmail... some friends, work stuff, my facebook (nothing)... and time to work..

After few hours I did not realize how progressive I was, in killing the killing deadline. Yeah... a cup of positivism and a spoon of discipline are healing my day, make my days lighter and happier.

What a recipe.

wine, candles, friends, and jazz melody

When a bottle of red wine, french fries, biscuits, peanuts, raisins, small candles, nice friends, jazz melody, a warm bricked stylish room, random interesting topics, and jazz melody meet together suddenly tiring and cold day was melting. For me today, those are enough. Enough to me and to melt frozen heart, break boundaries between new people and sweep away all doubts and fears about the near future.. aka deadline.

One of my greatest people I know came to the apartment since I invited him to come and also I invited my room mate to join the light talk party in an empty bedroom, which is supposed to be a living room. I do not know how to formulate a good ambiance to have a nice feeling, but today it was really there, naturally be there somehow.

Talking about sports we did, we do, how do we like it, debating about countries, religions, war, peace, invention, imagining an ideal job, from working in a restaurant in the shore side, cooking and running a restaurant, or maybe achieving big stuff to become important person, criticizing presidents, leaders, even ourselves as selfish human beings, root of all problem in the world, rating the movies and making comments for any kind of movie we like, until imagining new innovation with digitizing and materializing...

I wonder if there are really people who are so nice like today to discuss anything that open our mind to new things in life and also our feelings...

It was a rare moment, simple but sophisticated, many strong propositions with humble attitude. I was a really great evening and I really miss to have a day with you two again. Thank you to make my day.

brand new white spirit

puff... arrghh.. so cold today in the morning. Hmmmhh.. I felt too lazy to get up. I heat one the heater to the max, while dutch people turn it off during they are sleeping. Still, It can feel the air in my room bite my skin and bones.

Hmmm.. lovely pink bear cotton bed sheet and two thick blankets wrapped me in the middle and I shook my body to get a little bit warmer. But all of sudden, mr. Alarm Clock shouted in my ears and pulled me out of my bed... walked out from the room to wash my face and brush my teeth with warm water. Thanks God, Holland has water heating system in almost all sinks. Hmm.. feel fresh. (noted that take a shower is not an obligatory in winter time)

I rubbed my laptop, heated on and gee, so ironic that i knew it was snowy outside because my friend's photos in facebook told me so. After I had opened my life's window through the computer screen, then I realize I need to open my real window at my room. WAOOOO it is first snow of this year, so whiteeee... lovely.

Last year, I arrived in Shanghai in the middle of winter storm. So it is my second time to see the snow, but it is so different since Shanghai is like mixed ice syrup with dust as its topping, so disgusting! Today I see pure white snow and little snow rain in the morning. I decided to bring a bottle of soup for my lunch and also to heat up my body.



With an ipod sing along in my ears, whispering "White Christmas" song. I feel happy and were recharged again after disappointing day before. I stopped a while in the long entrance to my university. So beautiful even though I see it almost everyday. I feel as if I walked in for the first time. It is a nice start a brand new day with new scheme and new setting. I feel my spirit lifted up by the new day.

and I walked to the new spirit and whisper tenderly, "welcome the new spirit, I open my heart and embrace you with love"

who sayz "ten children only" can not be spoiled

Today, a strong proposition just hit me as a person. Realizing that I am the only child, one judges me easily that I am spoiled. So far, what I realize is that I am an independent person. "Can one who highly independent categorize as a spoiled person?" I just figure the answer by this self-reflecting discussion. The answer is of course Yes!

There are so many things to spoil humans. Attention, love, money, material support, parents protection, service, even McDonald a.k.a. fast food can spoil people in many ways. These things are not bad as may be other people agree as well. What I confuse is "where is the thin line between efficiently utilize what we can get or access as a person and excessively overused and become so spoiled by these stuffs?

This is a hard question. Don't you agree? I realize people often misuse these lovely offers because they make us feel so good and we start to forget what are the objectives of their existences. Today, in my presence, I realize the most important point to answer the question which people may encounter in daily life, especially in judgmental setting, The Hard Question as I mentioned before is under attacked.

I dedicate this idea to the one who lifted up this discussion and made me day.

free coffee machine in Holland? Wao!!

Since I just arrived in Holland, today is the first time I saw free stuff for public. As people know, except me long time ago. I did not know how far the holland people go with NOTHING IS FREE. In this country even we need to pay for a TOMATO sauce in the restaurant. But the I can accept that later on since the people here are also thirst of stuff that they can take for free. Even not free stuff like Bikes too. No wonder, the police have thousand cases of lost bikes in this country, where number of bikes is more than the total number of the population.

Having this fact and experience, I start adjusting myself to the reality. In the beginning, it was tough though. I hardly could accept to pay 20 cents just for a sachet of tomato sauce. It was ridiculous. the fact, it is ridiculous. Even more, they pay 50% tax out of their salary and they still need to pay 50 cents to go to the public toilet. How stupid is that. The land where all risks are insured even to cancel the insurance is also insured, nobody want to secure and invest for the place where we spend the most important cycle of our body which is in the toilet.

Whatever. Today. 14th December 2009. Right after 111 days in holland, finally I have found a free stuff. What made me surprised that this is a coffee machine, which usually we need to pay fucking 1.5 euro for 3/4 cup of chocolate or coffee. I went to AON office to ask for insurance (yes, as I mentioned, I want to insure my possibility for having no money and want to go to the public toilet please!). Then I saw a coffee machine in the lobby. WaaaooO!!! so surprised! After having a cup of choco deluxe. My transformed-ducth way brain thinks that for sure I must come by sometimes, take a cup and enjoy holland a little bit more.

Sit up + Push up: Up my life. No more Screen up

Sit up and push up are the ways to relief stress now. How strange is that? It is not mentally healthy but physically, it is.

Lately, I am so wanna off from the computer screen, the ultimate cause of my stress. Why should I get trap in this whole damn world and have the only window to the whole world through my screen. Love it in the beginning but now.... I start hating it soooo much. My room mate, Piere, said, "It is hell killing my eyes". It kills what I feel as a a human.

Working, typing, watching movies, video clips, TVs channel, listening to the music, checking recipe, sending text, email, playing games, playing love, doing lousy research, serious research, love research, looking for new friends, cute friends, talking to parents, to strangers, to myself... like now.. everything!!! arrghhh... tired.

Ok.. that's it. I AM OFF NOW.

CLICK APPLE LOGO...

CLICK SHUTDOWN...

Computer ask, "are you sure want to shutdown your computer now?"

option: cancel or shutdown

Just if there were an option: HELL YES, SHUTDOWN NOW!!!

just be yourself or just be people selves

Who is wrong here?

The judgmental person who always think we should act right according to our environment and our circumstances, like age, male, female, fat, ugly, short, tall, blond..

or

people who want to become themselves?

or maybe the clique statement "just be yourself" has become obsolete these days.

Today, the alarm has rung again. I just wonder I live in a very judgmental environment where people are valued based on their physical attributes and not by their personal quality. Again this topic pops up in my mind and I think this topic will not ever become obsolete. Unless our society stop judging other people. In which it is impossible.

Staying in Holland for about 3 months now, I have found one more treasure of my day.

In Holland, people's words shaped other people opinion and I, personally, had been killed by these words and reborn again as a stronger person. I can say a free person who has fully control over myself and sensibility for others' opinion. While back there in the east, people's words carve people's choices for their body shape, hair style, attitude, and even remade faces. In this situation, I unrealized that I had been killed many times, felt apart, try to follow these words and end up with self-pity. Wao! What a difference.

There will be a time to come back to this pond and I need to be ready for it. It is a treasure of the day for appreciating the presence when and where the physical judgment at least does not applies to me.

It has been a long time.. like never

Hmmm.. being the only child is a life-time experience. In born experience. Not optional. It was just yesterday, I feel my self opened up for new fragrance in my life. Wao! Since a long time ago, seems like never, I have a new fragrance besides mine next to me. Interesting and challenging but in the same time feel so warm and tender.

for people who read this and get confuse because this paragraph above is vague. It is intentional.

What I can say today I went to Una's dinner for celebrating anything and my special and kind friend, Alex. He has a birthday for his 25th and we were there for him. Then, a fun part, I encountered a person who is the only child too and we have a nice chat and chat and chat... and a nice chat until felt asleep.

In between balkan kindda food, bulgarian snack, my own salad, Alex's salad and finally bottles of wine. Good food, good talks, good wines, and what you can expect more. It is just a perfect prescription for a nice moment in life. Sometimes we need that. Many times I searched for it, but ended up with disappointments. Deep one.

yesterday, I did not look for one. but it came to me. I guess yesterday case taught me to be "expectless", means expect nothing and enjoy.

healthy food collection

Mix Fruit (Mandarin Oranges, Banana, Mixed Peanuts, and Oregano)

Orange salad with natural dressing and Salmon sandwich in French Baquet

Fiber Flakes, low calories Milk, and 0% fat Plain Yogurt

Bacon, garden salad and an egg

It has been a week, since I have started a health life with not only healthy but also fashionable food. Hereby I present the recipes for those who pursue healthy life and pleasing food.